The Paradox of Time Travel

As this is a topic many people have delved into before, I present to you my version, which I came to on my own without having previously read or seen any information directly relating to this subject (the closest being the absurdities of time travel regarding the Grandfather Paradox, which you can read about here http://www.daviddarling.info/encyclopedia/G/Grandfather_Paradox.html).

The past does not exist in the way that you or I exist. You cannot hold or touch the past or, for that matter, re-experience the past in the way you experienced it the first time, as a recreation or reenactment is only that, a replaying of the past where you already know the outcomes. The past only exists as memory and testament based on our interpretation, implying that what we know as truth is only considered truth if we all agree yet is not necessarily true, as fact is fact regardless of democratic opinion. For example, the sky is blue only because the color of the sky is of a hue we have all agreed upon as being called “blue.” If I objectively see the sky as what everyone else calls “orange” it does not change the fact that we all have agreed to objectively call that hue “blue” and, as such, it would not change no matter what hue we looked at as we see it with the same name regardless.

This arbitrariness of our words, and as such our knowledge, implies that our knowledge of the past is just as arbitrary. Say, for example, Germany had won World War II and Adolf Hitler had conquered the world. Certainly you and I can both agree that history would be presented in a much different light, meaning that the past does not exist as a destination we can return to.

To take this one step further and thus disprove time travel, imagine, for example, the common idea some people enjoy entertaining should they have a time machine, for some strange reason. Given the opportunity, most people claim they would use it to kill Hitler before he had the opportunity to commit the atrocities of the Holocaust (never mind that many would most like actually use it for personal monetary gain).

Let’s assume you were one of these people and you actually did make it back in time. Time exists as a function of traveling from point A to point B so it is easiest to represent time for this purpose as a single straight line (Fig.1).

As shown in Figure 2, there are points along this timeline, for example, your birth and the assumed point at which you were to “travel” to the past from, with history representing the entire line which has already happened and the “X” representing your “period of learning” wherein you learned about history, through school for example.

Now, let’s assume, you actually did make it before Hitler (at whichever age you chose to find him) and were able to pull the trigger (Fig. 3).

From there, should you pull the trigger and successfully kill Hitler you would create a new alternate timeline (Fig. 4).

This new alternate timeline would immediately become the original timeline and the original timeline would cease to exist (Fig 5).

What this would mean is that history would become dependent on this new moment, that is to say, the point at which you “traveled” to would become the focal point wherein the original timeline and the alternate timeline switched. What this means, then, is that there can be no alternate timeline since the timeline is always the original; this means that altered events alter the original timeline, thus replacing it.

By this logic, it means that it would be impossible to go back in time and kill Hitler. The area represented by “X,” what I referred to as your “period of learning,” was where you had initially learned of Hitler and the atrocities he committed during the Holocaust. “Traveling” to the past and killing him would remove him from existence, thus removing him from any history you may hear about thereby giving you no compelling reason to travel back in time to kill Hitler, which means you would never go back in time to kill Hitler and the atrocities would still happen. This is why the desire to travel back in time for any purpose will never be fulfilled. The purpose happening gives you the reason to initially travel back in time; should you go back in time and prevent it from happening you would lose your reason to travel back in time in the first place.

It is this paradox which makes idea of time travel completely impossible, regardless of whether you had attained some machine or ability to defy physics and travel through time.

(all pictures created by me for the purpose of this discussion)

Machiavellian Minorities

I’ve noticed something interesting in the way Republican members of Congress follow trends. When they controlled Congress during the Bush II years the Republicans broke almost all of the tenets of their platform, of which a 2008 version can be found here. For example, they broke rank with fiscal conservatism, instead deciding they could lower taxes while fighting wars on two fronts in a time when the economy was on shaky grounds as it was, largely due to 9/11 and more recently the housing situation, massive bank failures, and Wall Street conundrums. Why are they advocating now for a stimulus package that is pure tax cuts, when that has obviously failed before?

One might say Congressional Republicans are out of touch, but it is truly politics for them, as they have found that they can actually get what they want and appear to hold true to principle at the same time. It was proven in the recent vote on the stimulus package that the Democrats (when united) can woo enough Republicans to pass almost any bill, be it good or bad. In a time when it is blatantly obvious that tax cuts will do more harm than good, Republicans are remaining fairly united in their NO votes. This will lead to two different outcomes; if the bill succeeds, Democrats look good and Republicans look good just by having the good fortune of being in office when everyone starts to do better. If, however, the bill does not work and the economy further collapses, the Democrats have to accept full responsibility and have little wiggle room here, whereas the Republicans can be confident that it was not because of their actions, being that they did not vote for the bill in the first place. Either way, the Republicans have assured themselves that their job is secure while being able to get what they want, namely, a bill which may save the economy.

What this means is that it may great to be the ruling party in Congress most of them time, since your party sets agendas, decides who heads what, and is looked at to lead the way, being in the minority party (in a 2-party system) at a time when your vote does not affect a thing, whichever way you happen to vote, can and will grant you power in the long run. Truly Machiavellian.

Since the stimulus bill has passed, it seems the only way for the Congressional Republicans to show their solidarity with their beliefs now, as well as the beliefs of their constituents, is to refuse to accept any aid or help as a result of the package, as Stephen Colbert called on them to do in a recent airing of his show, The Colbert Report:

“Last night's Party line vote was a great start for the 111th Congress, but these hard times demand and even larger, meaningless gesture. That is why I am calling on every Republican who voted against this bill to put no money where your mouth is. Refuse to accept a single penny of the 800 billion dollars for your Congressional district. Think of it like a hunger strike, then just sit back and watch in glee as the Democrats face the wrath of their constituents, suffering as that 800 billion dollars tears though their district like a force five cash-o-cane. It won't be easy, but you are fighting for a principal, if we can't have a perfect bill to stimulate the economy, you would rather have no economy at all.” – 1/29/09

With that in mind, I leave you with a picture I created from a drawing of the human anatomy I found online here.

Take This Job And Shove It

No job is more thankless than serving, more commonly known as waiting tables. I can understand the need to be thrifty in these hard economic times, but as someone who pays his bills with tips: do not have your server run all over so you can receive the meal and service of your dreams only to stiff that same server on their tip. Even if you receive mediocre service, you have to understand that with the massive job loss, servers are being stretched thin too; often taking on the roles of bussers, cashiers, hosts, food-runners, and whatever else you may ask us to do.

There are many customers we have learned to hate, for example, those who may have received a discount just for being loyal customers a few times (or because they always request the same server who gives them that discount) and then demand that same discount again and again. Getting it once does not denote entitlement, it means we were feeling generous and wanted to give you something in return this time.

Let me share a secret with everyone, though this is probably out in the open. A compliment, whether given to the server, the manager, or written on your credit card slip, means nothing if you are going to tip poorly. If I could pay for everything with compliments, I would not need your money; however, compliments mean zilch at the end of my shift.

Finally, if anyone ever dares go out and give their server a tip less than 15%, you are screwing your server and quite possibly any other employee that helped your server, as bussers and bartenders are each “tipped out” at the end of the night by servers. The common rule is to give each of these employees about 3% of their sales, not their tips, but how much food they sold in dollars.

For all these reasons and more, I always tip at least 15% but usually I tip a full 20%. If my bill happens to be a small one or just a drink at a bar, I may even go 50%. Not only do I feel their pain as I watch them deal with troublesome tables, but I am also aware of how much work they are doing beyond my table. Pass it on, people, tip your server accordingly and you may find yourself a table servers fight for the more you go in, meaning the service (and perhaps free stuff!) will only get better and better.